Month 4 Wk5 Yr2 -Bonus

Let’s Try Healthy

In all my years of losing and gaining weight I don’t think any food has given me as much stress as bananas. If you have low carbed or have diabetes you fully understand what I’m talking about.

One medium size banana has 105 calories and 27 carbs. I don’t know how many times I’ve questioned myself about eating a banana. Mind you I will eat chips by the handful but I panic at the thought of bananas.

On my last bout of neuroticism I had to laugh. I was seriously mad at myself for going over my carb count because I ate a banana. Again I needed to regroup.

I need to be healthy. I need to eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink water. I need to move my body, and I need to practice some self care. I need to do all the things I’ve been screaming about for a year and a half.

Had I followed my own plan I would be down around 70 pounds. I would be at my goal weight. That alone makes me want to slap myself . Something that I know works yet I just didn’t do it.

This summer I have so many trips planned and the first thing I thought about was how soon I could lose weight. Yea I know, ass backwards.

With a heavy sigh I have to admit to myself that I need help. I need help figuring all this out. I need help from a therapist to work through depression and I need help from a friend to keep me on track with weight. I thought I could do it alone and truth is I can’t. I’ve finally reached out and got myself a support system. Truthfully they reached out to me.

Doing the same thing over and over is the definition of insanity. I was literally driving myself insane.

As I laid in my bed today not able to do anything except sleep I think the epiphany finally hit me. I can live like this forever, which is not living at all or I could do something new. I’m going to try something new, and I’m going to start with eating some bananas.

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