Month 4 Wk4 Yr2

“Slow Down” – L. Ross

I almost fainted last week. I was in Colorado for work and had just walked up one flight of stairs. Yes the one flight will be important in this story.

I stepped to the side to let someone walk past me and kind of stumbled on the wall. I then noticed my heart was beating very fast and then I was dizzy. Next I was sweating. This all happened in a matter of seconds but it felt like I was moving in slow motion.

Instead of stopping I stumbled into the bathroom. I remember telling the two people I was with I was headed to the restroom and made myself stay conscious enough to open the door.

By this time I was dripping with sweat. I made my way to the first stall and sat on the toilet seat. I began fanning myself with my hand while using toilet tissue to wipe the sweat from my face.

My breathing would not slow down. I laid my head on the wall of the bathroom and just sat there. I closed my eyes and just sat there. For 10-15 minutes I did not move.

If you are asking why I didn’t tell someone what was happening it’s because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed that I was about to pass out from walking up one flight of stairs. I was embarrassed that I would be larger than the last time I was in town. I was embarrassed that I had in my mind failed again.

I blamed the thin Colorado air and the altitude. I blamed myself for not drinking enough water. I simply blamed myself.

I told my husband the next day and he simply told me to slow down. He also told me to workout. He said when he thinks about giving up he thinks of the family and keeps going. That hit me hard.

There are moments that either make or break you. There are moments when you either decide to get your shit together or keep doing what your doing.

I’m praying this is a moment that I get my shit together.

Current weight 282

This is due to traveling and that damn time of the month. I wanted to lie and tell you my weight had not changed. Crazy on a blog in which I’ve poured my heart out I still cringe when I post a gain. I’ve still got a lot of work to do. This blog has not at all gone the way I thought it would. I hope you all are still rooting for me. I need that support right now.

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