Month 3 Wk2 Yr2 – Getting Better

“We fall down, but we get up” – Donnie McClurkin

“We fall down, but we get up. We fall down, but we get up. We fall down, but we get up. For a saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up”

This is exactly how I felt all week. Not as much a sinner falling down, but simply a person falling down. My husband basically had to have emergency surgery this week. I believe when something like this occurs the best laid plans go out the window.

I love reading stories where people are in the worst of times and that’s when they decide to change their lives and be amazing. I’m talking about children having cancer and them deciding to lose weight. I’m talking going through a divorce and deciding you will beat depression. I’m talking the tragedy to triumph stories.

Again this week I wish I could tell you I had that story. I did not. I had an “I’m glad I got through this week” story. Today was my first day of vacation and if anyone needed some time off it is me. I haven’t eaten chocolate because I didn’t have any. I would have eaten it if I had it. I’ve been eating popcorn and chips. I haven’t drank soda because I didn’t have any. If I had it I would have drank it.

Now before you go crazy let me tell you that not having something has never stopped me from not eating it. At 10pm I would make a trip for ice cream or chocolate. If I want something bad enough I would just go get it. What’s stopped me this time? I’ve been too tired to even go get stuff. Yes its that bad.

This week my plan is to again make it through the week. Considering its week two and I haven’t posted a challenge I’m deciding that this months challenge is to continue to battle depression. I cannot let this win.

Please remember what I have said before. This doesn’t leave in a day, a week, or a month. It leaves when it wants to. It’s simply our job to keep fighting for one more second, one more minute, one more hour, one more day. I wish there was a switch, hell I know we all wish there was a switch. I will tell you what I tell myself. Let’s make it until tomorrow.

If any of you feel that you have reached a place and you need some help, maybe you feel you just cant battle anymore. Call this number 1-800-273-8255. There is always someone there to talk to you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Know that you are not alone.

I will not post weight this month. I think that’s the least of my worries. This month will be all about getting my mental health in order.

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