Month 11 Week 3

“The scale (devil) is a lie” M.Ross

A few months ago I decided I wanted to upgrade my scale. All over social media I kept hearing about this scale called Renpho. This scale not only gives you your weight, but gives you BMI, body fat, fat free body weight, subcutaneous fat, visceral fat, body water, skeletal muscle, muscle mass, bone mass, protein, BMR, and metabolic age. Yea I can feel you rolling your eyes right now.

The issue was I thought all this information would be amazing. Remember as kids we were told “the more you know.” I thought I wanted to know more. I was wrong, ya’ll know that’s coming LOL. Anywho, I was excited and didn’t really think hard about buying the scale because it was under $20 on Amazon. The scale I already owned cost more than that and didn’t do half of this amazing stuff. Oh did I mention it gives you all this information via bluetooth to your phone. WHAT!

Ok so scale was ordered and of course it arrived at my home two days later. If you are a weighing pro you know you can’t weigh yourself in the middle of the day after you’ve sipped water all day LOL. You have to weigh first thing in the morning after you pee and after you have taken off all your clothes and jewelry. This is the only true way to weigh.

The next morning I was all excited to step on my fancy scale. Oh I need to mention I was already expecting my weight to be off because new scales never show the weight of your last scale. They always add a few pounds. Yes this is my story and I’m sticking to it.

Sooooo what happened? The scale hurt my damn feelings. The weight was not the problem. The weight was actually the same as it had been on the old scale. That’s what pissed me off. That means the damn thing was working properly. What upset me was all this other data I thought I needed. You know that saying “the scale doesn’t know how much muscle or fat you have.” Well this scale did and I was a hot mess.

I stepped on the scale and weighed 271. Again the weight was not the issue. My BMI was 40.1, not shocked. Here is where I went crazy. My Fat Free Body Weight was 129 and my Metabolic Age was 49. First off my head is too big to weight 129 and I was 44 when I got the damn scale.

Now before you all go acting crazy saying you have to carry some fat to live, if you think I don’t know that stop reading. Remember being fat makes you a pro at all things weight related. The shock to me was that I had 149 pounds of weight. You look like you need some reference.

Things that weigh 150 pounds: white tailed deers, red kangaroos, cougars, mountain lions, 1/2 small panda, 2.5 Dalmatians, or five car tires. I’m just going to focus on the last part for more visuals. An average passenger tire weighs about 27 pounds. So I was carrying a cars worth of tires plus a spare. Yea irony huh. My spare tire was literally a spare tire.

Moving right along. I was feeling like hot garbage. Why did I think I needed all this stuff? What did I think it would tell me? If I didn’t think I was fat before, this scale was a reality check. This was not a good purchase at all.

After I regrouped from my shock I realized this scale did exactly what it said it would. It told me all the stuff it said it would. The box had a huge picture showing the display and how it would provide me with data. I thought I could change the outcome of the data. I thought I was special.

This scale reminded me a lot of a long term relationship I was in. For years I was cheated on. The man would look me in the face and tell me he loved me then sleep with someone else probably the same day. I want to tell you this happened one time, but this blog is all about truth and the truth is it lasted almost ten years. I fell in love in my teens and into my twenties I let this man dictate my worth. Problem was he was a Renpho scale. He showed me everyday who he was, yet I thought I was special. I thought if I stepped on the scale the right way, if I ate some different stuff, if I did what I thought he wanted me to do, the outcome would be different. It never was. Over time without me knowing, this beat me down, and was the beginning of my battle with depression. Therapy got me here people.

I’m about to shock you with what I say next. I don’t blame this man. I don’t blame him because again he showed me who he was, time and time again. Women will always tell you about the little things. The little things that happen that let them know something is off. These were big ass things that I chose to ignore, and that was all on me. The reason I don’t blame this man is because while he broke me he provided me with something I love more than life itself, my son. My son was also what helped me leave this toxic relationship. I needed to set a good example to my son, and his dad cheating on his mom was not a good look.

Years later my sons dad apologized. Ironically it was just one week prior to his death. He was accidentally killed in a motor cycle accident. As you all know I believe everything happens for a reason. I haven’t gotten to the bottom of all the reason but what I learned is when a Renpho shows itself, you need to listen. You saw the signs and you chose to ignore them, stop ignoring them.

My husband has a saying which I love. “Fix Yourself.” Right now that’s where I am. I’m fixing myself. One day at a time I’m reducing that number on that scale. One day at a time I’m putting my life back together. I not only need to shed some spare tires, but I need to shed some hurt feelings. It’s hard not to bring our old baggage into new relationships, but as Erykah Badu said:

Bag lady you goin’ hurt your back

Dragging all em bags like that

I guess nobody ever told you

All you must hold on to

Is you, is you, is you

One day at a time. One Pound @ A time. I’m improving and I hope you are too. Look at that number on that scale and vow to change it. Look at your current relationship and decide how you are going to make it better or let it go. My back is already jacked up. I need to let some shit go. I can’t keep dragging all em bags like that.

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