Month 10 Week 4 – It Keeps Happening

“ It keeps happening TO me. It keeps happening FOR me” – Kierra Sheard

I have a very eclectic music selection. My playlist goes from gospel to country to hip hop to classical. While this may stress a lot of people it actually works great for me. When I hit play I believe I am meant to hear a specific song at a specific time. Yes you can say my phone is listening or reading my searches (it probably is). What I can tell you is usually when a song plays its exactly what I needed to hear at that point in time.

On a particular rough day this week I hit play and Kierra Sheard “Keeps Happening” came on. If you are not familiar with the song the beginning has her stating that things keep happening To her. She eventually changes her language and says things keep happening For her. That key word change screams at me each time I hear it.

When I am dealing with a bunch of crap I immediately flash to “Why is this happening TO me”? That statement alone is suggesting that it’s out of my control and the things that are occurring are bad. Suffering from depression it’s easy to fall into this woe is me trap. My husband is having some health issues, my child is having some adulting issues, my baby is asking me a million questions, and my friends are dealing with madness. Why is this happening TO me? My job keeps putting more on me, my staff is overwhelmed, my team is one step away from losing it, we are all working 12+ hour days. Why is this happening TO me?

With one switch the entire situation changes. This keeps happening FOR me. It keeps happening FOR me to make me stronger. It keeps happening FOR me because there is clearly a blessing on the other side. It keeps happening FOR me because I have to pause and take care of those around me before I take care of myself right now. It keeps happening FOR me because I need to put my family ahead of my career at this moment. It keeps happening FOR me because my team is strong than I realize and they are going to solve these issues without my help. It keeps happening FOR me because God is saying sit down

My life is full of ups and downs right now. It will always be. It will not be perfect, but it will be what’s its meant to be. What I won’t do is question and complain. What I won’t do is not realize I’m being prepared for something bigger and better. A good friend of mine came over this week and we talked about patience when it comes to God. God works on his time, not mine. I simply need to take things day by day and let him do what he does.

Thank you God for allowing these things to happen FOR me. Thank you for allowing me to learn lessons daily and get better, be better, and do better. I know it’s not going to get easier, but I’m going to be patient and follow the process.

The lesson this week was simply to BE STILL. To not stress eat bags of chips but instead reach out to friends who say exactly what I need to hear. I did not lose a pound this week. Well actually I gained a pound and lost it the same week. I’m going to let that be a wash. I’ve got a lot of weight work to do but the personal work is taking center stage. This journey started about weight but has completely turned into something else. I have no idea where this is headed, but I’m glad at least one person is along for the ride.

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