“Life is only a reflection of what we allow ourselves to see” – Unknown
As you end month two the total weight that should be lost is only eight pounds. If you are stressing about how you should have lost more, this is not the place for you. If you haven’t lost eight pounds, spend a little more time in the reflection area.
What have you done well this month?
What have you not done well?
What do you want to stop doing?
What do you want to start doing?
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself this month?
By the end of month two I had lost eight pounds. I was following the plan I had set out to follow and it was working. I don’t exactly know why everything was seeming to click but I am 100% sure it was because I took pressure off myself. I began to look at what I liked about myself instead of what I didn’t.
As women I believe we are always looking for someone to love us. For me I can say I was always and have always been chasing the love of my mother. You would think it would have been my father love since he wasn’t in my life, but no. I’ve never had that desire or need to be a daddy’s girl. Growing up had I just heard my mother once say “I love you” in my mind that would have made all the difference. Please note that I say in my mind. I will keep using this phrase all throughout this blog. Throughout this blog I might talk about my mother and my relationship with my mother, but let me say this. Mothers do what they can with what they have. As I got older I had to realize I can’t claim the glory of my life today without realizing my mother had a hand in it. I can’t blame her for what’s wrong with my life without giving her the credit for what’s amazing. All those experiences made me the person I am today. I am self sufficient, reliable, driven, a team player, and so many more adjectives describe me. The one I want to stick in peoples minds is LOVED.
I am loved by Jesus first and foremost and also loved by family and friends. The person who’s loving me the most right now, is ME. See I didn’t always love myself. I didn’t think I was thin enough, smart enough, Black enough, women enough, strong enough, silent enough, aggressive enough, and worthy enough to be loved. I allowed people to tell me who I was and tell their narrative of my story. I allowed people to lie to me, cheat on me, and make me feel less than. This went on for years and caused damage in my life that could not be repaired with all the therapy in the world. What happened was one day I woke up and decided enough was enough. I was in the mall of all places and saw a sign that said “I Love Myself”. What!!!!! Can I say that? Am I conceited and crazy by saying this? I purchased that sign and placed it in my bathroom. I was going to look at this sign everyday I was going to say this out loud everyday. Maybe I would scream this. I lived alone so this was ok.
Side Note-Don’t be screaming stuff if you live with other people. They will think you are crazy.
What happened is the more I said I love myself the more I believed it. The more I believed it the more I exuded it. I began to love myself by first saying “I Love Myself”. The irony of that is crazy but it worked. I heard a saying a long time ago “Others can never love you if you don’t first love yourself”. I had to begin to love myself before I could ever except love from others.
Daily I tell my kids I love them. I think I get on their nerves the amount of times I say I love you to my youngest son. I tell my kids they are my favorite kids. I spoil them and they both know I will lay down and die for them. As a mother I can name a million moments that I am proud of my kids for. The one that stands out right now is simply my oldest son telling me how amazing he is and how he’s destined for great things. In his soul he believes that. I love that he believes that. His self love is apparent to everyone around him. His confidence is on another level. Looking at him I know I’ve done my job. I’ve raised a child who loves himself and once you love yourself no one can ever take that away from you.
Spend some time this week owning your love for yourself. Stop trying to get others to fill a void in your life. Only you can fill that void. Katt Williams said it best “It the esteem of the self”. As simple as that, the esteem of the self.